August 2010

oubt.

Teach me how (to remember That I know how)
-
★ Prologue: And so it ends
★ Chapter 1: And So It Begins
★ Chapter 2 (Day 1) Learning how to cope

Chapter 3: (Day 2) Learning how to breathe

.
-
When the morning comes the sun peaks-through Karin's window only to find That She Already Had her eyes wide open. The boy quietly by her side breathing stirs Slightly But not does wake up, I INSTEAD weitere sneaks down as to let the blanket shield historical eyelidof Both, chakra and historical essence-and it WAS

That
, Precisely, Karin Which made Remain in a state of restlessness. Which
Karin
Forced to keep herself awake, because- "Because as long as she Remained awake, She Would Be Able Thoughts to keep her under control. And she Would Rather's gladly repeat the Same memories-cutting
of crimson sharingan Into her very soul and a warm hand slipping from hers out -over and over again Rather Than take the Risk of dreaming of him
-take The Risk Rather Than of her mind tricking her Into Believing, for a blissful instant, That the chakra by her side her Belong to Sasuke, only for her to open her eyes and find That Such a thing co chakra begins to clear, Karin guesses that she did the right thing after all. His identity, his name as Uchiha Sasuke was probably the only thing he truly had left by now. He needed something to anchor him down, something to keep him
grounded
—and the weight of his name was probably that something for him. Having realized it, it’s entirely too easy for Karin to decide to give him that , at least.

And
inwardly

—inwardly she also cannot help but to marvel at how easy it was to please a kid. He was stubborn, yes, but he was so in a way that almost reminded her of a hedgehog. He readied his thorns on instinct, refused to let his guard down in order to protect himselfa good measure of sarcasm, and Karin can feel her eyebrow start to twitch.

“Making, heating up, what’s the difference? Food is food!” “…We’ll have instant ramen for
breakfast
?” The way he says it, scrunched up nose and all, makes it sound absolutely
insane
, and Karin’s temper raises to dangerous levels—were the kid Suigetsu she would have already thrown something at him, no doubt. “Look, it’s not my fault that the idiot who stocked me on food eats only ramen for a living, alright?”

Sasuke remains silent for a few moments in which he walks over to the small table and takes a seat, but then he asks, his voice dripping with slightssary. Once Again And she can feel the change in historical stare with the Same easiness as if she Were Watching him, His eyes narrow knows how to look Into That lets her know That I wasn't BUYING That copout, But Before I have the chance to Karin finally utter anything tilts her head and Meets His eyes on the reflection of the Steel utensils hanging on the wall. Once I made That She's looking at him I averts His stare and turns away with a quiet Hn, and For What Feels Like the umpteenth time Karin Can not help but to remember . Remember how There Were Times, Back When They Were Still Getting Used To The Other's Presence after the worst and MOST painful times of Karin's mourning Had finally passer-by pure accident in Which They would Meet Each Other's eyes across the table or across the room and Sasuke avert his-Would Would turn away just like the little boy Had just done. Back then Karin's heart Would start to race, pumping blood to her pale cheeks Otherwise, and she Would wonder, Would she dare to hope -

But That Was Then and this is now, and now she Feels nothing. Forces

herself to feel nothing, pushes away the nostalgia and Focus on pouring the two Into ramen bowls and bring them to the table instead. "Be Careful, it's hot" Does Sasuke events bother to look up at her.

"I'm not stupid" "Tch, Are not You Such a smartass" She mutters
Through Her
ight clanging sound that Karin’s chopsticks make when they have contact with the porcelain bowl.

Sasuke has yet to eat his ramen and is playing with it instead, obviously unsure as to whether he should or shouldn’t eat it, but then he raises his head and she notices how he looks at her from the corner of his eyes, no doubt thinking that she’s unaware of it; notices how his eyes follow the movement of her chopsticks as they grab the ramen and drop it inside her mouth, where she bites and swallows it quickly only to grab more. Sasuke’s stomach doesn’t need to growl for Karin to know that he’s hungry as hell, longing to imitate her and eat some as well, so when his hunger finally wins the battle and he takes a slurp of ramen into his mouth Karin isn’t surprised.

He takes one, then another, then

another
—

And suddenly he drops the chopsticks and a violent shake makes his body bend over the table. Another shake follows the previous one and this time his cheeks puff out as his eyes widen, and
then
—

“ Sink ”

Karin commands. Before Sasuke can even register what she’s saying she’s grabbing him by the arm and helping him to stand up, quickly pulling him towards the sink. Once there he immediately throws up, turning over his already empty stomach, and Karin instinctively reaches out and starts to pat his back, her other hand still holding his arm.

Yet again she feels no surprise at the sudden turn of events, because the truth was that all along she had been half expecting such a thing to happen. Karin had dared to think that perhaps he would have better luck than she did; that perhaps his nerves and stomach were tougher than hers had been—but she should have known better. Sasuke or not, he was still just a kid. And even disregarding
that
he still had taken the tragedy particularly hard, if what she has seen so
far
—if what she knows due to her previous association with Sasuke was any indication.

Still, she feels thankful that the boy has short hair and she doesn’t need to bother to keep it out of the way. Back when she had been the one in the kid’s position, Sasuke hadn’t been so lucky.

After whim carefully. “You should go wash your teeth so that there are no remains of vomit in your mouth. Otherwise you might get arcades again” Sasuke’s face is turned to the side and there’s a mixture of emotions in his expression, the reigning one being his stubborn nature. But then he seems to think better of it and wordlessly pushes the glass on her hands, making his way towards the bathroom without even sparing her a single glance. Karin’s eyes roll on their own volition at how prideful and stubborn the kid was, but then she simply opens the faucet and lets the water wash away the remains of his vomit, images once again dancing behind her eyes. Really, now. To think their roles would inverse like this...

When Sasuwhenever it needed to. So Karin doesn’t push, only limits herself to let out an amused Heh as she turns away again and closes the faucet, going back to the table afterwards.

As she picks up her chopsticks, she catches Sasuke looking at his uneaten ramen with a mixture between disgust and longing. “Eating that will get you nowhere today. Once I’m done we’ll drop by the hospital so that they can give you a nutrient pill. Even if you can’t eat, you need nutrients or else you’ll get sick” Sasuke doesn’t seem to have anything to reply to that, so Karin raises her chopsticks once again and is about to eat a mouthful of her ramen when he suddenly breaks the silence. “…You will still ing how come he let himself allow her to see him in such a state in the first place. Wonders if perhaps he’s dismissing whatever mutual understanding he thought they had reached.
Or
perhaps
…—

Sasuke turns towards her then, and there’s something else in his
eyes —something else that wasn’t there before
—

“—Sorry”

He abruptly says. Karin’s eyes widen.
Sasuke turns away, embarrassed. “… You didn’t get any sleep because of me. Sorry about that” Karin blinks. Once, twice
, and then she soundlessly puts the empty bowl down.
She didn’t think he had noticed that.
… That talent, those instincts; they were so sharp.
Just like
—

—
Just like Sasuke’s
.

- -

A cup of hot tea is suddenly pushed towards her, held by a pale hand of long and agile fingers, and as she reaches out to take it—flabbergasted¬—the tips of her own fingers brush against his skin and her body is enveloped by a blanket of warmth that doesn’t have anything to do with the cup. Sasuke doesn’t look down at her however, simply walking past her and coming to a stop a few feet ahead of her, letting her to look at nothing but his back.
“You were up on guard all night, weren’t you?”
His words are more a statement rather than a question, and Karin lowers her eyes to the tea, embarrassment welling up inside of her and making her cheeks feel warm. Her feet shift slightly against the grass, her knees scooting closer to her chest and to the warmth of the cup.
No one had asked her to, but she hadn’t been able to help it. Sasuke’s training sessions were sacred for him, and he took them all with a seriousness that left Karin in awe each and every time. But it was precisely
because
of that—because of that drive that he was inclined to overdo it. If he found a flaw to his technique he would work until he overcame it, no matter how many hours he spent without a single moment of rest.

The day before had been particularly hard for him, and Had His training ended up with him getting wound and remove the bad passing out due to exhaustion and chakra drain. Kabuto Had Been working on him for MOST of the night, and Despit The Fact That Knew

Karin Sasuke That Would be alright, she Had not Been Able to sleep at all. Though

Sasuke-I Had Been sleeping soundly. She Had not Thought He Would Be Able to notice That She Was Just Outside the Door, Finding solace in His steady breathing.
"D-did Kabuto-san ...?"
"No" Sasuke
states, replying to her unasked question with extreme ease, as if I Could one read her Would like an open book read.
"Then, how ..." He turns

just Slightly Towards her, and all she cround, meeting her eyes and holding her stare with His own.

He Does not reply to her question with a direct 'yes' or 'no'. Rather Something Else Entirely I says, Something Else That Makes Karin's eyes widen and her press Accelerate For Reasons she's not-yet-Entirely sure of.
"It's just like you"
And Then he's walking past her dog again Karin Before ask for an Explanation, so all she CAN do is turn around and watch His retreating back as I Makes His Way back to the hideout.
"Drink it. It's going to get cold, Karin "

-
-

Something stirs inside of her as the memory slips Through the cracks of her defense-crot
that Sasuke. God damnit, he isn’t my Sasuke!

He shouldn’t be able to awaken those memories inside of her. He
shouldn’t
, because if he does,
if
he does— Then she may crack. And she can
not
let that happen. Because then someone else might step into her word, and she can’t afford to lose someone again.

She has had enough of the pain of loss to last for a lifetime.

-

Half an hour later they’re walking across the streets of Konoha, and Karin thinks she has calmed down enough to be able to admit that
well
… she may have overdone it.
CHTM"Is There anywhere you want to go after the Examination is done?" She casually ASKs Deliberately, But the words still feel heavy on her tongue. They're the first Any of Them've Said To The Other after her outburst. Sasuke

perks up, Obviously Not expecting Being spoken to. But aside from That He Does not Give Any signs of HAVING Heard and her Remains Completely silent.

"Hey. Sasuke, I'm talking to you "
" ...
I do not feel like talking to you "

Karin rolls her eyes. There He Goes Again

. "Well, You Do not Have Much Of A Choice." A pause, and Then a smirk across her lips draws Itself as she Closes her eyes and shrugs, "Damn, I did not know this much I Could Have power over you "

As expected her words strike the right chord, and Sasuke glares up at her. "Shut up"
The only smirk widens. "That's more like it. You think Naruto and The Others Have found anything? "
" How Should

I know? "Sasuke mutters in response, still annoyed at Himself Obviously for getting played by the old older girl.

"Well, you're supposed to know him pretty well, Are not You?" The boy Shots brother to Karin blinks and looks confused, "Eh, from what i know you

" I mean, the
Other Sasuke and Naruto were good childhood friends "
Sasuke blinks, still confused. "I did
Not ... -" His eyes widen .
"That guy is Naruto? As in,

Uzumaki Naruto? "At seeing Karin's nod, Sasuke's eyes widen even more. "No way ... That
guy
Became Hokage?"

"You sound pretty surprised" Karin assesse with an arched eyebrow, and Sasuke nods, surprised enough to forget Apparently That He Was Supposed To Be angry at her.
"He does not have high grades, or particular talents and Stock. He's the dead last of the class. I can not believe I made it "
" Well, from what I've seen of him so far he's pretty damn Impressive. Hell, I managed to kick events

Sasuke's ass "
Sasuke stops walking, His eyes now open as wide as saucers.
"I did?" CHTMto come and visit me Sakura-chan, Did I? "
Karin has the graciousness of at least shooting the blonde a deadpan look. "Should the Hokage Be in the Hokage tower?"
"But I am

!" Naruto clarifier, turning to her this time as I raises one hand and starts counting off His fingers, "And I'm Also

genin team out training as a favor to Iruka-sensei. And

helping an old lady to carry her bags. And I'm
Also
- "
"-I get the picture. Geez, you sure know how to profit out of your clones "

" You

bet I do! "Naruto's grin is Replaced by a curious expression, pero His Blue Eyes Are Darker shade and September to Gravit withy. "Either way, did anything Happen? With Sasuke, I mean "Karin
shakes her head Slightly detaching her from the back wall in a sudden urge of shifting her position. "There Were not In His chakra Abnormalities in historical or Behavior. He's a kid in all senses "
" What about Emotionally? "
Karin lets the question linger on the air for a moment Longer, mulling over the best way to reply to That in an efficient way, One That leaves out no details Also But Does not Say More Than What Needs to Be Said.
"I've yet to cope with the murder of historical clan." She states finally, voice firm and business-like. "From What I Could get him out of here on Our Way, I Had just gotten out of the infirmary and gone to visit the UchiHis own for a long moment, holding a silent stare Each battle. Regardless, it is Naruto The One Who look away at the end, it is Naruto Who lets out a sigh as I Closes His Eyes and turns His face ahead, eyebrows drawn together Into still a tight line.

"I know" He says, finally. And When His Eyes Open, they're Focused on the Door Leading to the Examination room. "... But We Have living proof to attest That it isn't as impossible as we thought"

wordlessly, Karin FOLLOWS Naruto's gaze only to find two familiar figures making Their Way Towards Them. She resists the urge to let out a sigh of her own, Knowing full well That if Sasuke Were to see it, He Would Probably start getting ideas about Naruto and What She Had Talked about. And really, out orf all the things she needed, a bothersome,
insistent
Sasuke was the last one of them.

“How was it, Sakura-chan? Is everything in order with our little friend here?” Naruto cheerfully asks, his demeanor not showing even the slightest hint of the seriousness with which he had been treating his ‘
little friend
’ just mere seconds ago.

The pink-haired girl nods, smiling pleasantly while Sasuke’s eyes narrow into a glare directed at the blonde, who either doesn’t notice it or pretends not to. “Nothing out of the ordinary, aside from an empty stomach. But I already gave him a nutrient pill, so it should be a few hours before he’s hungry again”

“He wasn’t too much trouble for you, was he?�� Naruto jokes, crossing his arms behind his head. Sasuke’s eyes widen with recognition then, and Karin blinks with curiosity only to see his obsidian eyes narrow once again, still set on the blonde Hokage.

Sakura waves one hand, pleasant smile still in place. “Not at all, Sasuke-kun is a really obedient boy!” However, despite her words the edges of her smile strain slightly, and it’s obvious that she’s holding back a sigh. “Except, well… he doesn’t seem to trust me too much. It took me some effort to get him to relax, and even
then
…”

Karin tries to meet Sasuke’s eyes, but the boy looks away.

Naruto chuckles, comfortingly passing an arm above Sakura’s shoulders and breaking through the tense atmoss extended palm. "Give him one of These Every five hours if He Is not Able to eat food and Stock"

Karin nods, thankful. Then Sakura Stare at her, eyebrows furrowing as her keen eyes Slightly notice the dark circles under Karin's eyes.

"... Are you okay, Karin? Are you sure you don't want me to talk to Naruto about Sasuke-kun Letting In Our care? "

Sakura's question goes unanswered for a Few, long moments, But Then shakes her head Slightly Karin, raising her eyes to Sakura's Meet own. "No, I'm fine. I can deal with him. Beside, I'm the only one Who does not have anything else to do. You and Naruto Are Already busy enough as it is "Sakura's
Furrows brow even more," But-"

"-I’ll be

fine
” Karin stresses before Sakura can say anything else, and the pink haired medic sighs, nodding.

“Alright then. But if you need
anything
—”

“—I know you two are there. Don’t worry, I’ll seek you two out if anything happens” Karin reassures, knowing full well that Sakura’s concern was genuine and wanting to appease it as best as she could.

She was grateful for it, really. She just didn’t know how to show it.
Sakura seems to know this however, because she gives Karin a kind, warm smile and parts her lips—but whatever it is she was about to say is promptly cut short by Naruto’s voice.
“Oi. Stop glaring!”
Both girls with amusement. “Really now, Sasuke-kun might look like a kid, but that doesn’t mean you can act like one just to match him”
“Oi, Sasuke” Karin calls out, tuning out Naruto and Sakura’s conversation and focusing on the little boy instead. He hesitates for a moment, but soon enough he has dropped his glare and is looking at her with curious apprehension instead. “It’s time for us to get going, come on”

“Where are you two going now?” Naruto calls out with interest as Sasuke reaches Karin’s side. The redhead looks down at Sasuke then, and the boy briefly returns her look only to look away afterwards, shrugging nonchalantly.
Karin turns back towards Naruto, having her reply. “I guesTMLXC the breeze smelled fresh. It's Been a While Since You Had she Surrounded by an air felt like this ...

So fresh, so clear, so ...

light.

In a way, it smelled
of
- - Life . Thinks Karin, with Something akin to nostalgia like a ghostly setting Above her skin layer. Said layer is Chased away abruptly However, as the little boy Suddenly Begins Accompanying her to cough. Her arm extends out of reflex, and Before She Can Even Think of What She Was Doing, Karin is historical back patting. She Does not Get To Be Of Any help Though, as Sasuke flinches as soon as her hand historical eat in contact with skin and moves out of her reach. Does Karin

protest, however. Nor does she do anything to try to stop him, or bring him closer. She understands.
“Except, well… he doesn’t seem to trust me too much. It took me some effort to get him to relax, and even then…”
Naruto was right, Sakura. This had nothing to do with you, Karin thinks, looking over the river once again, her eyes clouded by thought and fragments of memories of past feelings she thought she had left behind.
But he was also wrong.

Sasuke being or not being a ‘stuck-up’… it had nothing to do with this. It’s entirely too common for people who have lived a traumatic experience to shy away from human contact, and that only worsens when said situation was as bad as wSasuke hat Had Lived.

In Such Circumstances, Gaining trust ... it Took Their Effort, and

time-but it WAS the only way to let Them allow you to get close enough. Karin knows this, she Lived Because it herself. Except That She Was On The Other Side of the fence, so to speak. And that's

why, she knows

-any ground Had she managed to cover last night must have for Itself undone Had she with the outburst this morning. They Were back to zero, Once Again. And

That one is all my fault . Acknowledge Karin, seeing no point in denying Such an Obvious thing. Regardless of how she felt about the matter, this boy right here Was Her Responsibility, and she intended to Fulfill What She Had Told Sakura. She really, really

Did not need a worried Sakura on her case. So

Karin Closes her eyes, breathes in deeply. When her eyes open again, they're set on Sasuke's back.

"The trick is Letting it all out first"

Sasuke's back straightens, sign an Obvious That He's listening to her. His head turns ever so Slightly Towards her, and Karin knows very well
What That Means
, too. It Means He Does not Understand What She's remove Saying. So she continues, clarifier herself and her words-at least, as much as she allow herself to Clarify dog

it. Sasuke Needs to tie the knots together Himself. "If you do not let... Out.
In ... out.

She Had not Noticed It. Or Perhaps she
Had
, and Had just forgotten about it. But She Could notice it, now. That Was Before A pressure constricting her lungs, now Giving way. When she opens her eyes Remains her mind blank, her body Simply Taking in all the air and the sensation

. The Feeling That There Was, somehow, more space inside of her now. Like the air Had Something washed away. When she turns to Sasuke he's looking far away Into the distance, and Karin Thinks she knows What he's seeing. So she stands up, dusts off the behind of her pants, and When She looks at him again His Eyes Meet hers.

"Come on, let's go back" CHTme "
-

End of the 3rd Chapter I'm looking forward to the next chapter Because it has one of the very first scenes I Thought of When This fic Occurred to me ~ As for Sasuke and Karin in this chapter, I tried to flesh out Karin's inward Struggle with the situation.
She is very hurt, and has closed herself off, so chibi! Sasuke's PreSens is a 'danger' to all she has built, in a way.

[Chapter 2: And So It Begins] Go back

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